
in my new living situation, i keep to myself a lot. in fact i've been rather antisocial since graduation. it's one of those things that annoys me about myself. my inconsistency. in amherst, i'm relaxed, friendly, and easy going. everywhere else, i seem to avoid people a lot. i must come across as an introverted twit.
i don't talk to the teenagers in my house much, because i feel like i'm infringing on their territory. it's not that i don't like them, it's that i don't know what to say to them. and it's too much pressure and discomfort to try to approach them. so it's strange. and a couple of days ago, just to make things even more uncomfortable, i accidentally gave my aunt the house's phone number. David, the 15-year-old boy, answered the phone. he doesn't sound 15. my aunt thought i had a "guy!!!" over and i think she may have said something sketchy or wierd to him, because he looked at me really strangely when he handed me the phone...i mean, do i really want to explain to him that she thought he was my boy toy? how fucked-up is that?? oh god...
so i avoid everyone in the house except the mom. we have tea together and talk about things and are on comfortable terms. but i worry about the kids.
maybe i should talk to them and say "sorry if i seem unfriendly, i've been keeping to myself because i have a lot on my mind." but that might make it even more wierd.