(no subject)

i'm still not over it. i wish things would hurry up and get back to normal. i was doing fluorometry today and my mind kept drifting to images of Matt being smacked to death by the truck. it hurts. i broke down in the middle of data collection. helen offered to let me go home for the day, but what am i going to do there? sit in my room online? go to the mall and spend my last 35 dollars? whatever.
i guess i just need to go slow. when i get overwhelmed i freak out.

at least in two hours i get to drive the marshmallow home. (marshmallow is my new car. a white 2002 Chevy Prizm with cruise control. don't ask me how the fuck THAT happened!) it's my consolation prize for putting up with all the changes. (changes=SHIT) so you all need to go on a road trip with me, because i have AC, a CD player, driver and passenger airbags, and cruise control.

life is a fucking trip sometimes.