rocky road

i forgot my security badge this morning, and it almost gave me a nervous breakdown. i spent about ten minutes in my car crying and cursing myself out.
i think i need to stop allowing myself to have breakdowns about such ridiculous things. i'm worried that if i screw up too many silly things in the beginning, they'll decide to get rid of me. i'm really panicked about layoffs.
maybe i should get some anti-anxiety drugs?
i need to stop flipping out. it's too exhausting.

(no subject)

ok, so either the roads in eastern mass hate me, or i am cursed, or i am just a ridiculously bad driver. for some reason everytime i try to get somewhere unfamiliar lately, i end up getting horribly lost and losing either my temper or my mind. i feel like i just shouldn't drive anywhere ever again. man, what a loser. i was supposed to pick up madbard in newton for a rehearsal type thingy and then go to BU but i couldn't edge into the proper lane fast enough, and i got pushed back onto the pike, at which point i flipped out and all was downhill. i didn't even have a single map in the car. ass.

ugh. how did i get so incompetent? i don't want top be controlled by incompetence and stupid anxiety crap.