cellomusette: (Default)
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I'd be kind of excited. I would want to know immediately what my real life circumstances were. Am I healthy? Do I still have the same family? Am I still the same person?
I've learned a lot from my life experience, but I've got more cards stacked against me than I'd like. Being free of chronic pain and fatigue and immune deficiency issues would give me a COMPLETELY different life. Even with depression/anxiety, I really feel that, at this point in my life, I could be unstoppable at whatever I set my mind to.
cellomusette: (Default)
I've been bouncing funds around a bit...not large amounts, but still.
I tried out two pairs of Birkenstocks that didn't work and got my refunds on both. (I kept my black slides, they were perfect.)
I went for some purple patterned Tevas that were marked 50% off, because there are a lot of things I can't do in the water without nylon-and-rubber sandals. Namely, boating, or swimming in areas with rough footing.
My summer footwear needs are now completely spoken for. I have my black casual sandals, my waterproof sport sandals and silver gladiator sandals. And I have tall combat boots. There's nothing in between that I really feel comfortable in. I hope someday I'll find a pair of mary janes or clogs that work for me. Until then, I'm happy to defy fashion rules and wear tie-dyed socks with my birkenstocks. Rah rah rah.
cellomusette: (Default)
My Lenovo ThinkPad's name is Petra. Petra Arkanian, for the sharpshooter androgynous important female Battle Schooler in Ender's Game. She was Armenian, and a total badass, and she helped Ender out of a lot of scrapes. Plus she's got tons of armor: Avast is great, plus apparently there's this thing called Windows Defender, and Lenovo has built-in protection of some sort. I feel really secure with this new machine, and it runs great, too.

My iBook G4's name is Cassie. I named her after a Skins character, this eccentric girl with an eating disorder who eats a lot of apples, travels a lot, and is a survivor. Despite a suicide attempt and anorexia, she still manages to graduate from college and fly to NYC! Bravo, Cassie! I originally bought this computer in early 2006, so yes, she's been around awhile. I had a Mac repairman resuscitate her early this year---she'd been in the backseat of my car for two years. The repair cost me a whopping 100 bucks, and they gave me a brand new keyboard and everything.

I think the Gateway desktop PC's name is Spliff. It's kinda dumb and doesn't appear to have much memory, much like a chronic pothead. Still going to try to make Spliff run some version of Ubuntu.

My old ruined Dell is named Gollum. I was going to name it Satine, because it was dying of consumption, but now it's pretty much functionally dead. So now I think of it as a monstrosity and a killer. A killer of my wallet. (Fuck you, Dell!)
cellomusette: (Default)
Do any of you have recommendations for free photo-editing software I can download off the web?
I can't find my original OLYMPUS MASTER software disc, which came with my camera. I wasn't thrilled with that anyway.
I've been doing my photo-editing using iPhoto.
I want to switch to editing photos on the Lenovo, because the screen lighting and resolution is better, and I now have a hard drive to do weekly backups with.
Someone suggested GIMP.
Thoughts?
cellomusette: (Default)
I looooove it. <3 <3 <3

I've installed Avast and Chrome and Skype, and now I'm letting it charge up and rest while I do other things. I'll be sure to wax poetic on all the things I love about it specifically when I get done eating lunch and enjoying some of my day.

What a win!! And the fact that I am posting this from my Mac makes me feel oddly good about life.
cellomusette: (Default)
My basic brain issue can be described as ongoing depression with anxiety, and some complex PTSD.
For years, meds providers have been treating just the depression, with SSRIs, thinking this was the main issue and that the anxiety would naturally abate. My recent experience with going off my prescription SSRI contradicts all that.

I do need to be supplemented with something that provides an SSRI function. My brain sucks up serotonin like a sponge, and I become a moody miserable nonfunctional bastard. Who somehow retains a flatness in my affect. No, we don't want THAT! But: how much SSRI dosing do I need? The answer: Not tons. Just enough to make a difference, without turning me into a zombie. Luckily, I'm sensitive to medications, and St John's wort/hypericum works for me. The benefit of the herb is it's strong enough to boost my serotonin, but mild enough to leave my mental energy and creative force intact. I have more drive, ambition and clarity than I've had in years, possibly ever.
(Still taking fish oil, too. High dose of omega-3 = increased grey matter function and reduced inflammation in the body and brain. Do the math. It's a win.)

The trouble with hypericum: for me, it doesn't treat anxiety. I find myself having difficulty compartmentalizing emotions that come to the surface because I'm used to having them stuffed down by the old drugs. And anxiety, if it goes steadily for long enough, crashes me into a depressive funk. So: it MUST be treated. I've had poor results with magnesium supplements, 5-HTP and chamomile.

What works for anxiety, for me, is diazepam (Valium). It does not make me sleepy, if I take it for anxiety (and I don't take it for anything else, really). It does not make me feel "high". It does not give me an artificial feeling of everything being right with the world.
It just makes me normal and functional so I can go about my day in a good mood.
It stops me from involuntarily tensing up my body in reaction to stress.
It has NO side-effects. No weight gain, no headaches or dry mouth or stomach upset or hangover.
IT JUST WORKS.

Now, if I can figure out a dosing schedule that works for me, I may be able to get my brainpan under control.
cellomusette: (Default)
I'm not giving up on Ubuntu for that Gateway desktop yet. I'm trying a reinstall. Probably it will have the same results. Oh well. I'll try running it with the CD in the tray for now and see how long it goes until the pixels disintegrate.

To clarify: As of Friday there will be 4 computers in this house.

1. My iBook G4, which is my main computer RIGHT NOW. It runs, but it's slow. It doesn't do Flash. I can't watch Netflix or Hulu on it. I can't chat on Skype. I haven't bothered downloading OpenOffice, it'll just slow down even more. It's not very compatible. That damned Motorolla processor.
HOWEVER! It doesn't get viruses! It's got a shiny new case, a perfect-condition powercord, and it's very reliable. Getting photos from my camera is incredibly easy with iPhoto. It's 13" and white. It's the Cute Lil White Box.

2. Mom's Gateway desktop PC, which used to be my uncle's (he passed away). It had Windows XP and now it doesn't. Things are disorganized down here and I don't have a recovery disc. I really just want the Linux installation to work.

3. My black Dell laptop. I call it Satine. Which is disrespectful to Satine, and to Nicole Kidman, I know. It is so close to death, it might as well be Satine during her final moments in Moulin Rouge. I'm not sure it can even power up. The power cord is completely coming apart. Hey, maybe I'll try my Ubuntu disc on that thing. Then I can see if it's a hardware or a software issue causing the consumption. Honestly it's probably both. That Dell is a piece of SHIT. The motherboard needed replacing A FEW MONTHS after I bought it. Gross.

4. And finally, the Lenovo Thinkpad that's supposedly arriving by UPS tomorrow. Don't have a name for that yet! Whee.
cellomusette: (Default)
I'm converting Mom's old Gateway desktop PC...well, my uncle's PC, circa 2005...to Linux.
I tried downloading Avast to get rid of the bugs first, but there were too many errors; it's been without anti-viral protection for years. So I went to the Ubuntu website and downloaded the OS. Now I'm burning the OS. I've saved all the files I care about, so next I'll be wiping the drives clean and installing Ubuntu as the operating system.

I think Mum will be pleased with the results. I've been reading up on Ubuntu and it looks snazzy.

EDIT: It appears to have failed. I conclude that the computer I tried it on is a consummate piece of shit. or I just simply have no clue what I'm doing and fucked something major up that I don't know about. I'm tired now. maybe I'll look at it later. at least I have a Ubuntu disc now that appears to function properly.
cellomusette: (rainbow brite)
Thanks to y'all and your helpful advice, I've got a Lenovo ThinkPad SL Series on its way to me from Newegg now. I'm proud to say that over 60% of it was paid for by proceeds from recent jewelry sales.

4GB memory
500GB hard disk
Intel Core 2 Duo T6670 2.2G
Under $500 even with shipping, whee

This iBook G4 is still useful, though. It's petite and convenient. LINUX BOX? Yes I do think so.
cellomusette: (rainbow brite)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280662848027&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

4GB of RAM.

Windows 7. (I'll need Windows for some things, namely managing my mp3 library which is in an online storage library, and probably to operate Hulu and some other crap. I still plan to try installing Ubuntu on my Mac!)

14 inch screen, a perfect middle ground between "huge monstrosity" and "I can't see the fonts!".

It's about $200 less than I was planning to spend on a laptop, and is $200 over my jewelry sales goal I was working towards. Which leaves me enough money to reasonably purchase a $153 B&W laser printer-copier for Cerulean Sky.

It is not refurbished, it is brand-new, in the retail box.
It has a built-in webcam, a DVD-R drive, all the good stuff.

How I'm going to take good care of it:

Purchase AVG anti-virus protection.
Get an external hard drive for backing up the stuff that matters, in case I need to "return to factory settings."

Anyhow, this feels like a better option than shelling out $1K for a MacBook just because I'm too lazy to do the needed maintenance on a PC.

EDIT: Screw THAT, this is a better deal: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16834246097

(thanks [livejournal.com profile] pywaket for pointing out Newegg, huzzah)
cellomusette: (Default)
I know I've talked to some of you about this before, but I can't recall specifics.

I need a printer for business things, eventually. Black-and-white will suit me fine. I am considering a basic model Brother printer-copier-fax thing.
I could make my own business cards and tags, print shipping labels, copy original black-and-white art for thankyou notes, print invoices, print out jewelry care instructions (brass and copper have special cleaning methods if you want to keep them bright). Suddenly my jewelry business looks 100% more professional.

What I really want to know is:

How long does laser printer ink LAST???

Something I read said it's composed of powder, which is fused in the printing process. That makes me think it doesn't dry or clog. But I could be wrong.

My main complaint about inkjets is that the stupid liquid ink dries up/gets clogged/goes USELESS after X number of months. I might not need to print for a certain amount of time. Am I going to have the same problem with a laser printer?
cellomusette: (Default)
Boston area peeps,

I need a small dresser, or even a set of plastic drawers, for my 4 months in North Reading. I don't care what condition it's in as long as it's movable and you can put clothes in it. Whee!

If you're getting rid of something like this, or know someone who is, please let me know, I will gladly take it off your hands.

I'm not on the GB reuse or freecycle lists, so forwards from those are indeed helpful. My target date for moving is May 1.

Thanks!! :)
cellomusette: (Default)
Laptop PC recommendations needed. Tell me your opinion. I'm leaning towards a Hewlett Packard Pavillion. My plan is to set aside all my jewelrymaking money until I save enough for a new computer, and a my best computer experience so far has been with a HP Pavillion. I'm still considering an Apple, but my purposes might best be served by a PC and my iBook G4 is ridiculously slow.
cellomusette: (rainbow brite)
my new dusty-trail shoes, so comfy I don't wanna take 'em off ever ever. yes, yes, I have regular leather ankle-strap Birkenstocks now. I got them at a ridiculous discount.

I will not be forfeiting my Goth card, I will simply be adding a laminated Hippie card to my wallet collection.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639803608/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639803258/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639869844/in/photostream

my beloved black Grenada slides:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639872158/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639871704/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482514@N07/5639871214/in/photostream/

when Fall gets here, I can get some CLOGS!!! won't that be fun...
cellomusette: (Default)
Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
List (and upload/link) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
Post them to your journal with these instructions.

I'll do my best with uploading the links! I'm going to cheat and go past 5 songs, calling them "bonuses" because this meme got me on a YouTube kick.

I got the letter R.

5. "Reckoning", by Ani Difranco. The arrangement of the notes is full of longing and hope and is never resolved, which makes it sooo enjoyable to listen to, for me. Plus it's a gorgeous lyrical composition about relationship troubles and how love doesn't die just because things get difficult. One of the most perfect songs ever, in my humble opinion!!

4. Roygbiv" by Boards of Canada. I love most things that BoC does; they are in that genre of nebulous, mood-lifting spacey electronica with a beat. Lately I'm more into Ulrich Schnauss (same basic genre), but I couldn't find any tracks of his starting with R. :)

3. Ribbed And Veined, by Cocteau Twins. From theis Tiny Dynamine EP. Gorgeous atmospheric musical arrangement, even though it's instrumental, so Liz Frasier's vocals aren't featured anywhere in the song. Just goes to show you that the singer wasn't the only thing that made the band great!!

2. Running Up That Hill, cover version by Placebo. While I am forever loyal to the original version of this song by Kate Bush, Placebo's version has the ability to elicit tears from me every time I listen. They slow it down, make it more haunting, add a heartbeat track.

(Unrelated: I put in the link for the official Kate Bush RutH video, and it showcases her enviable modern dance/choreography talents. Highly recommended viewing!)

1. Raspberry Swirl, Tori Amos. This video is from her "Storytellers" segment and it's a live version that is COMPLETELY worth watching and listening to. Love the feminist bisexual vibe of this song, the infectious beat, and Tori's musical skill is of the gods.

--------------extras because I couldn't help myself-----------------------

0. Tori Amos cover of Raining Blood by Slayer. Moody and amazing. I've still never heard the original Slayer song to be perfectly honest, and I don't care if I ever do.

-1. Rock The Casbah by The Clash. I don't care what anyone says, if this song comes on, I AM DANCING. Preferably in a public place, embarrassing my friends. And I would propose to Joe Strummer if he weren't deceased. *sniffle*

-2. Roslin And Adama from the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack. Mostly strings and piano, composed by Bear McCreary. If you've never watched the series and have NO idea what the theme is related to, it'll still fill your heart with joy and a healing hopeful kind of sadness. Pretty much any musical theme from Battlestar Galactica is worth listening to on its own even if you're not a fan of the series, and "Roslin And Adama" is probably my favorite theme of them all.

-3. Reckless by Crystal Castles. Poppy dancy electronica. I like this band in general for guilty electronica pleasures, and there are better songs than this one, but this started with "R". :)

-4. Run by Air. Mysterious music-box dissonance in the verses, euphoric vocal harmony resolution in the chorus. I always imagine I'm walking through a dark enchanted forest, and at the chorus, I find a clearing with a beautiful sunlit fountain.

-5. Runaway by Ladytron. Electroclash-fest! Goddess bless KORG.
cellomusette: (Default)
What's that, body? You're hungry, eh? And you want...fish and chips? Oh and...your legs hurt too? And you're all creaky? Hm. Bugger that. Should I take care of the hurties first, or the hungries? What's that? Can't hear ya...signal's a bit fuzzy...

I could make you some rice pasta marinara, would that do it for you, body? Oh what's this, you want me to put on the water heater for an epsom bath and whip you up a banana smoothie? Geez, you should've just said so!
cellomusette: (Default)
The thoughtful ramblings of a sleepy person.

Read more... )
cellomusette: (rainbow brite)
Hey Boston folks,

It looks like I'm gonna be spending my summer vacation in North Reading. :D A magnanimous friend has offered to rent a room to me by a lovely pond!

The obstacle? I either need to move my bed across MA, or I need to find a bed to put in the room for a few months. I think probably May--->end of August.

Transporting a futon locally in Boston area=easy.
Transporting my plush queen mattress and assorted crap across the state=could be a big pain!

So you see, it would be easier for me, logistically, to get a futon mattress in the Boston area that I can use during that time period with my own memory foam pads. If there's a frame too, that's even better!

If you have an extra futon you're not using right now, or know someone who does, or feel up to signal-boosting, I'd be super-appreciative!

Point of interest, I make jewelry/ornaments out of gems, crystals, wire and sometimes other stuff. While I don't have a lot of cash, I can barter a custom-made piece or pieces in exchange for assistance in this matter. Here's a link to my website with some of my work: http://ceruleansky.artfire.com

GRACIAS!!! :D
cellomusette: (Default)
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gibxk/i_like_big_butts_and_i_cannot_lie_but_is_there

"I like big butts, and I cannot lie. But is there an evolutionary reason why?"

That is all.
cellomusette: (Default)
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My first choice would not be a couple at all, but Buffy Summers mom, Joyce Summers. She is the perfect mom, and she manages this as a single parent.
Joyce is utterly kind, compassionate, stable. She has a perfect amount of parenting anxiety; she is not overly relaxed or permissive, but she is not overly strict. Her constancy makes Buffy feel safe. I believe Joyce was the reason Buffy didn't unravel under the weight of her own responsibilities as a Slayer.
Buffy also had a wonderful father figure in her watcher, Giles. While he and her mom were never a couple, their combined efforts made a fantastic set of parents. Actually, the fact that they weren't romantically involved made them a more stable unit. No cheating, no breaking up.

Yup. Joyce Summers for mom, Rupert Giles for dad. Absolutely.

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