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life is good
Jan. 5th, 2002 11:34 pmso now i'm stopping to take a breath and actually post in this thing.
my first day of work was yesterday. i love the people i'm working with, especially my supervisor, which is a great start. but i need to relax. i get very scared of making mistakes on the job and this minimized the amount of actual productive stuff i was able to accomplish yesterday. in other words, i'm still waiting for self confidence, and still TRAINING...i should allow myself to screw up here and there, so i can learn from it. the thing is, i'm getting a paycheck which is twice what my mom has ever made in her life to support the two of us, so i am putting intense pressure on myself to succeed and be perfect. *inner voice says, FUCK THAT SHIT!*
i am finally at peace with my station wagon. i no longer stall or lose track of second gear. the machine is under my control. i'm even beginning to like the way the ass end swings out when i turn a corner real fast. vrooop purrrrrrr sashay my car does Latin dancing. i named her Francesca. she used to dance the merengue and stuff in the 20's. she hasn't any fancy pearls, but she wears good shoes! um. yeah.
today i drove for about an hour with my mom in the passenger seat, and she didn't get upset at all, and even told me she was impressed by my driving. and i love playing taxi. my car gives me peace.
i have tried to work out at the gym every day since i got my car on the road. today's the first day i took off from it in four days. the gym is my home away from home, keeps the smoking urge way down, and gives me a chance to unwind. pretty soon i'm going to get on a full diet and exercise plan to tone up and drop some excess, which will probably kick most of the knee problems i've had lately. the shoulder pain is almost eradicated, thanks to the swimming (along with most of the mental agony i'd been experiencing up until recently, thank the gods)...
it's time for some chamomile tea and a warm bed.
my first day of work was yesterday. i love the people i'm working with, especially my supervisor, which is a great start. but i need to relax. i get very scared of making mistakes on the job and this minimized the amount of actual productive stuff i was able to accomplish yesterday. in other words, i'm still waiting for self confidence, and still TRAINING...i should allow myself to screw up here and there, so i can learn from it. the thing is, i'm getting a paycheck which is twice what my mom has ever made in her life to support the two of us, so i am putting intense pressure on myself to succeed and be perfect. *inner voice says, FUCK THAT SHIT!*
i am finally at peace with my station wagon. i no longer stall or lose track of second gear. the machine is under my control. i'm even beginning to like the way the ass end swings out when i turn a corner real fast. vrooop purrrrrrr sashay my car does Latin dancing. i named her Francesca. she used to dance the merengue and stuff in the 20's. she hasn't any fancy pearls, but she wears good shoes! um. yeah.
today i drove for about an hour with my mom in the passenger seat, and she didn't get upset at all, and even told me she was impressed by my driving. and i love playing taxi. my car gives me peace.
i have tried to work out at the gym every day since i got my car on the road. today's the first day i took off from it in four days. the gym is my home away from home, keeps the smoking urge way down, and gives me a chance to unwind. pretty soon i'm going to get on a full diet and exercise plan to tone up and drop some excess, which will probably kick most of the knee problems i've had lately. the shoulder pain is almost eradicated, thanks to the swimming (along with most of the mental agony i'd been experiencing up until recently, thank the gods)...
it's time for some chamomile tea and a warm bed.
