(no subject)

If I compare my life to the lives of people I know, I'll suffocate myself with a plastic bag. It's one day after another of nothingness. Just me, alone, no family except a mom who's mentally a teenager, dealing the best I can with physical pain and fatigue, taking a million meds and supplements. I don't really believe I'm ever going to get any better.

I laugh at other people's complaints.
Please. They have great lives.

I've taken up art again, hoping the work will provide me some channel into an actual life. I don't have much confidence overall, but I know my work is good.

It's a bad dream. I just need to wake up. Somebody stab me with a pin. Please?