health, personal relationships

health

the boss sent me home at 3pm. i hadn't fallen asleep until 1:30am the night before. i was coughing uncontrollably and felt weak. i was shaking. i almost collapsed onto the floor. the coughing is exhausting and keeps hitting my gag reflex. i'm a little tempted to go to the ER or to some urgent care facility, except i don't have a car and i can't negotiate the MBTA right now.

the day was still productive, though. my experiment was successful. i was in a good mood, except when i was having difficulty standing up. i'm disappointed that i had to go home, because i was really enjoying my work. this proves i can put my personal issues aside to get things done here. and that i'm doing something worth my time. yay.

( personal relationships )

(no subject)

the stupid thing is, if i didn't post all my personal shit over livejournal, it's possible that people wouldn't consider me as fucked-up as they probably do now. someone reads this log, and it's impossible for me to appear anything other than Troubled.
hey, at least i'm honest. at least i'm working on it. but do i really need to do it in front of all these people?

i dunno.