(no subject)

lately i've been taking this kava-ginger tonic in the evening as a sleep aid. i think it might be making me sleepy and depressed during the day.

yesterday afternoon, i emerged from my room to find my roommates cleaning the kitchen and smoking weed. that was pretty strange. and K's back to work this week, which would explain her being in the shower just when i need to take one myself. hmm...i think a housemate meeting is actually in order, if only to make sure that we all can get clean before we go to work in the morning, and that one lonely housemate doesn't get stuck taking their shower at night, during the hot sticky season. that would naturally be me, since i'm the newest roommate and the other two are bosom buddies.

i think i'm done with roommates, really. i should live alone.

(no subject)

i feel very old.
i realize that my life is mainly dominated by memories of past experiences. my reactions to my living situation are triggered by a past roommate situation where one pocketed my security deposit and the other changed the locks on me. my response to my employment situation is effected by one job i was laid off from without notice after successful project completion...another where i went on sick leave and came back to find most of my job duties were taken away. my reactions in relationships to be are based on past experiences where i've been flatly shot down by people i thought would accept and appreciate me.
and so i want to retreat to my room and avoid the world, for everything i've put up with in the past couple of years. but what i think i need is someone professional to talk to, to somehow get rid of the negative energy circling around my life. it leaks into the things i find enjoyable. i don't want a poisoned life...it doesn't match the person i am.

ten minute song in twelve lines

so trusting
you could lay her down and gut her like a fish
resistance is futile
you've got her in a stitch
she's under your thumb
and learning that life can be a bitch
and now you're bored
and she can't satisfy your itch

when will you learn
what you sow you shall always reap
what you don't earn
you can never think to keep

she'll wise up
she'll shed her chains and leave you in the cold
your try's up
you'll pay for not doing as you were told
foolish to think
that comfort can be bought or sold
you'll cash in
your currency of regrets when you are old

when will you learn
what you sow you shall always reap
keep what you don't earn
and you will never sleep
-H.S. 8/4/2003

ten minutes. maybe twenty, counting guitar line and melody composition. not too bad for a quickie, say Ron Jeremy. times like these, i wish i had an mp3 recorder.

(it bugs me slightly that the lines i channel are this cynical. i'm not this angsty in everyday life, i swear...)

so now what i really should do is try to re-establish "business coffees"---i.e., trekking to a coffeeshop with a friend with the sole purpose of getting work done. in my case, writing lyrics or developing drawings.

casual dinner party...need suggestions...

I am thinking of having a small dinner party in the near future. The most important condition of timing will be that it is NOT a million degrees in the apartment, of course. I'm presenting an informal survey...input is tremendously welcome.

1. Main dish ideas? (meat or non-meat)

2. Pre-dinner snack ideas?

3. Desserts?

4. Dinner music?

5. Should I have a theme? Is new-wave-punker a stupid theme? What about a pajama dinner party?

6. If you happen to live in the area, would you be interested in attending this event?

7. Should I just ditch the dinner premise and make it a wine-and-cheese party, or a cocktail party? Or a "let's get drunk and screw" party?

It's just...I've made all these friends...I want to give something back and network them all at the same time. Everyone I know needs to know each other so that we can prowl the city like an eclectic geeky wierdo gang. We are Somerville, hear us roar/meep.