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tonight i finally spoke to erin, the 26-year-old woman who's looking for a roommate in providence. she's very friendly, seems like a type who talks a lot. the conversation went well, and i'm going there to see the place this sunday at 2. i will be so happy if this works out, you can't even imagine. what's wierd is that my landlady's son is suddenly being extra-polite...cleaning up his mess when i come into the kitchen, asking me if i want him to flip on the light for me...i wonder what's going on.
my boss met with me for a goal setting today. basically that's a meeting discussing what i'll be doing until May of this year. i found out that they've downgraded me to non-technical (READ: my new tasks don't involve any contact with patient samples; i'm to continue doing paperwork and filing things in the computer database.) in a sense, this is kind of cool, because there are less things for me to screw up; less pressure. i'm like an office clerk who gets paid a lot and wears a lab coat and glasses. i will even have some "down time". but it's also really embarrassing. i am feeling that i won't get fired, because i went on leave for documented disability leave and it would be easy for me to sue them if they fucked me over. however, apparently i made so many errors before i went on leave that my boss doesn't think i'm competent to do technical things.
how do you go from being a bio student with a 3.6 average to a lab tech who develops her own protocol to a lab tech who isn't trusted by her boss not to fuck up?
the shame runs deep, kids. runs real deep. i feel like shit. i kind of don't think i'll ever be competent in a lab again. i have little confidence left in my bench skills. i wish i felt comfortable with being an idiot with a secure job, but i don't.
i don't even think that Brown or Providence College would hire me to be a research assistant. i have grown to hate myself as an employee.
oh well.
my boss met with me for a goal setting today. basically that's a meeting discussing what i'll be doing until May of this year. i found out that they've downgraded me to non-technical (READ: my new tasks don't involve any contact with patient samples; i'm to continue doing paperwork and filing things in the computer database.) in a sense, this is kind of cool, because there are less things for me to screw up; less pressure. i'm like an office clerk who gets paid a lot and wears a lab coat and glasses. i will even have some "down time". but it's also really embarrassing. i am feeling that i won't get fired, because i went on leave for documented disability leave and it would be easy for me to sue them if they fucked me over. however, apparently i made so many errors before i went on leave that my boss doesn't think i'm competent to do technical things.
how do you go from being a bio student with a 3.6 average to a lab tech who develops her own protocol to a lab tech who isn't trusted by her boss not to fuck up?
the shame runs deep, kids. runs real deep. i feel like shit. i kind of don't think i'll ever be competent in a lab again. i have little confidence left in my bench skills. i wish i felt comfortable with being an idiot with a secure job, but i don't.
i don't even think that Brown or Providence College would hire me to be a research assistant. i have grown to hate myself as an employee.
oh well.
