cellomusette (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cellomusette) wrote2003-08-04 12:32 pm
cellomusette) wrote2003-08-04 12:32 pm
(no subject)
i feel very old.
i realize that my life is mainly dominated by memories of past experiences. my reactions to my living situation are triggered by a past roommate situation where one pocketed my security deposit and the other changed the locks on me. my response to my employment situation is effected by one job i was laid off from without notice after successful project completion...another where i went on sick leave and came back to find most of my job duties were taken away. my reactions in relationships to be are based on past experiences where i've been flatly shot down by people i thought would accept and appreciate me.
and so i want to retreat to my room and avoid the world, for everything i've put up with in the past couple of years. but what i think i need is someone professional to talk to, to somehow get rid of the negative energy circling around my life. it leaks into the things i find enjoyable. i don't want a poisoned life...it doesn't match the person i am.
i realize that my life is mainly dominated by memories of past experiences. my reactions to my living situation are triggered by a past roommate situation where one pocketed my security deposit and the other changed the locks on me. my response to my employment situation is effected by one job i was laid off from without notice after successful project completion...another where i went on sick leave and came back to find most of my job duties were taken away. my reactions in relationships to be are based on past experiences where i've been flatly shot down by people i thought would accept and appreciate me.
and so i want to retreat to my room and avoid the world, for everything i've put up with in the past couple of years. but what i think i need is someone professional to talk to, to somehow get rid of the negative energy circling around my life. it leaks into the things i find enjoyable. i don't want a poisoned life...it doesn't match the person i am.
no subject