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[personal profile] cellomusette
I'm not an excessively private person. So here I am, writing to the entire world about exactly what keeps me from functioning normally....sure, that seems smart.
Who knows, maybe someone somewhere can benefit.

It is a rainy Friday night. Rain in the northeast is my Kryptonite; something about the barometric pressure change does not work well for me. My shoulder and neck have been in the same dull muscular ache for 5 weeks.
Sometimes the spasms are sharp, or they cover huge parts of my body. I get something that's like dull sciatica.

Then there's the fatigue. I was supposed to be at my friend T's gallery opening a couple hours ago, and I should be headed to a benefit dance party in an hour. But I can hardly keep my eyes open; with the rain and darkening skies, I don't trust myself behind the wheel. Something's up with my adrenal glands, I don't make enough cortisol, and I sleep really poorly. I go for weeks with my eyelids at half-mast.

I'd rather not describe the digestive issues in detail, but I will say I take a lot of quick-dissolve Zofran during bad periods for nausea. And that's definitely not my only anti-nausea remedy. I also experience complete loss of appetite for days at a time.

Diagnoses: Hashimoto's thyroiditis, post-late-Lyme disease (I think it's in remission), moderate lead poisoning (has been mostly treated), leaky gut, rheumatoid arthritis (dormant)...I think that's all. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but I suspect the above conditions can explain those symptoms.

I have issues with depression. I don't know if they're the result of something biological, or 37 years of slow drag and bad luck. It becomes hard to tell. I don't believe there's much (if any) separation between the mind and body.

I'm not capable of the 40 hour a week grind, nor am I totally incapable of work.

That's actually REALLY awkward!!

As for tonight, I got as far as the makeup, then crashed.
Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

July 2017

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